Body armor - what is yours?

I've been enjoying a bit of a blogging break since just before Christmas and I have to say that it was quite restoring. It gave me a chance to really focus on family and friends, the year and decade past, and what's in store for the next year and the next decade. There's been a lot of talk and analysis about the difficulties of the first decade of the 21st century. I won't bother to recap here, we all know because we all experienced it together.

I've been thinking a lot about how I face the world. Whether it's to friends, family, blog readers or clients.  When I go out, I am fully decked out and done up. And I realized a couple of weeks ago when I was getting dressed before leaving for a new client appointment that putting on my jewelry felt a lot like putting on body armor - that sense of preparing myself for what was to come. It feels all the more that way because when I come home, the first thing I invariably do is remove every piece of jewelry.   In the safety of my home and at my mother's, there is always a pile of my jewelry, waiting for its next mission.

And I wonder who else feels this way. Do we all have something that we don before facing the world that we shed when home safe? Is my jewelry like a mask that I'm hiding behind? Perhaps it's more like a shield with a family crest emblazoned in the center, offering protection while offering some insight to others. What does my jewelry say about me, aside from the fact that I like the shiny? The pieces I wear daily include a ring that belonged to my Grandmother and a ring given to me by a close friend. A bracelet that my two bff's and I bought to celebrate the year we all turned 40, each engraved with a personal sentiment. A bracelet that I purchased with a gift certificate received as thanks from the parents of a dear friend who passed away in 2007. I wear it in his honor. And another bracelet given to me by his wife, one of the aforementioned bff's. The necklace I bought for myself in Paris and the earrings I bought at a small craft fair. I lost one the next day and the jewelry maker replaced it free of charge. How kind.  All my pieces tell a small story about my life and are daily reminders of that I don't stand alone. They are my people and they stand with me.

We are all part of many concentric communities. And sometimes, these communities start to tear apart. In the last couple of weeks, it's felt that way in the design blogging community. Accusations of plagiarism, personal insults and negativity by anonymous voices are draining this vibrant community of its soul.  What happened to that old adage about saying nothing if you haven't got something nice to say? I don't mean to be milquetoast - I love a good debate and exchange of opposing ideas. I believe in the power and value of criticism.  I love competition and am a very competitive person. But is it necessary to tear someone else down in order to raise ourselves up?  Does it even work - or is it a false shield? Is it body armor with napalm?  Why do some believe that their "honesty" absolves them of the stain of rudeness? My mother used to say "My right to swing my fist ends at your nose". Works for me. I've been guilty of the occasional anonymous comment that was rude and critical to a blogger - which I am deeply ashamed of and something that will be left in the past. That we can post and write anonymously doesn't mean we should, or if we do, it shouldn't give us leave to demean ourselves in our attempt to demean another.

While my jewelry may still serve as my armor, protecting me with its reminders that my people are with me at all times, it's not a mask. I certainly have to face outwards as myself and none other. And more importantly, I have to face myself as well. We all do. I hope that 2010 will see a return of civility and support among all our communities. After all, if we don't stand together, we won't stand at all. 

New Year's Day  in Duxbury, Mass. 2010.

{A more upbeat post to come shortly.}

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